


Gotta Stand My Ground

by sapphire2309



Series: amis amants [3]
Category: White Collar
Genre: F/M, Spoilers till 4x16
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-05-24 16:27:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6159607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphire2309/pseuds/sapphire2309
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bring it on. They'll be waiting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gotta Stand My Ground

**Author's Note:**

> For a challenge at gameofcards, for the prompt 'Bring On The Night' (BtVS episode title - S07E10). Title from The Man Who Can't Be Moved by The Script.  
>  **Disclaimer:** White Collar is Jeff Eastin's brainchild. Not mine.  
> 

She’s making the right decision by going to London, in that alternate universe where her job is the only thing that matters. And in that other alternate universe where all she cares about is love, it’s a terrible decision, and if this was a romance novel, she’d be turning around right now. But in this universe, Sara wants it all. In this universe, there is no right decision.

She’s not greedy. She wants Neal, and she wants the new job. That’s not unreasonable. But right now, there’s no way she can have both. So she picked the job. And maybe she’s losing something beautiful in the process, something she can’t get back. And she doesn’t want to make that kind of irreparable decision, she wants the chance to go back, she wants that, but she’s not sure she can have it. Some things you only get once. She’s walked away from Neal thrice now; she’s even exhausted her third time lucky.

But in the end, she doesn’t know. Maybe she’s fracturing what they have beyond any hope of repair. Maybe they’ll be better the next time. Maybe they’ll get a next time.

Maybe they won’t.

In the end, it doesn’t matter. She’s already made her choice. She’s walking away from Neal. And she’s isn’t going to look back, not too often anyway. She could try to play the lovesick maiden, but there are far too many things about the job in London that excite her.

The new position comes with an officeload of paperwork, but she still gets to go out and hunt things down. And she cannot wait to discover the less than shiny back alleys of London.

She idly wonders what’ll be the first thing she smashes with her baton. Whatever it is, it’s sure to be good.

She’s probably carrying a few pieces of Neal along with her. But she’ll find them, and hide them, and be fine. She’s always fine in the end.

-:-

  
Neal’s been going through a few dozen conflicting emotions in the past couple of hours, but for the moment, he’s settled on heartbreak.

He wants to properly feel the little holes that Sara’s departure left in him, wants to completely feel and get over the fact that she’s leaving, it’s always better to feel something out that to bury it. But he can’t allow himself that luxury. Because his father killed a US Senator and pinned it on Peter and left a whole host of problems behind him that need to be sorted out in a possibly less than legal fashion.

He’s angry. He wants time to properly miss her, and instead, he’s plunging himself face first into a fight against a broken system that he’s probably going to lose, and right now, in this second, all he wants to know is if he and Sara can ever have a shot at a life together.

He’s not entirely sure about that.

Every time they break apart, they become less illuminating together, less blinding, like they lost a little of their own particular special magic, like it fell into the chasm created by the treasure. Or maybe it wasn't magic they lost. Maybe they just lost a few edges, became more comfortable, fit together better. He can’t tell anymore, she’s too far away. He doesn’t know if they were getting better and getting worse and he needs to find James and get him to testify against the evidence, for Peter.

He buries Sara too quickly, far too quickly. He can feel himself resisting as he hides away all his memories of her, as he digs a hole and pushes in all the love, all the heartbreak and makes sure his mind can’t reach it again easily.

He owes this to Peter. He needs to fight for Peter. He wants to miss Sara. But he doesn’t have the time.

So he fights for Peter. He fights in every way he knows how. And he buries Sara and crosses his fingers and hopes, hopes, that it’ll be enough to free Peter. It has to be.

-:-

  
Bring it on. Bring on all the challenges that could be possibly thrown in their way.

They’ll be waiting.


End file.
